me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
