I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell