i barfeds in our rink
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.