think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
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Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.