Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding. http://tfl.nu/2d2l
  Replies (35) Good night (1476) Bad night (6441) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner. http://tfl.nu/u3lx
  Replies (18) Good night (738) Bad night (5396) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season. http://tfl.nu/7bt6
  Replies (12) Good night (3282) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe http://tfl.nu/fzk2
  Replies (10) Good night (1013) Bad night (3910) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass' (973): Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic. (229): Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom? http://tfl.nu/xp9a
  Replies (9) Good night (3953) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back? http://tfl.nu/dswq
  Replies (12) Good night (688) Bad night (2445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high. http://tfl.nu/srpn
  Replies (11) Good night (4755) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless. http://tfl.nu/y6il
  Replies (9) Good night (2583) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea. http://tfl.nu/9li0
  Replies (8) Good night (2398) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer. http://tfl.nu/ugza
  Replies (3) Good night (1836) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense. http://tfl.nu/ur01
  Replies (9) Good night (532) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab. http://tfl.nu/yqci
  Replies (5) Good night (1152) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit http://tfl.nu/kckq
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that! http://tfl.nu/8zmt
  Replies (7) Good night (866) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby. http://tfl.nu/say7
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt

Randomize