Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
