So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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