We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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