Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's always time for handjobs
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
