i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
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