sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
