i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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