Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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