i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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