my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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