You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
