So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
