I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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