How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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