cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
