Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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