We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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