i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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