If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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