Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
