Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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