when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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