grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dicks are not precious.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize