why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
