Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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