He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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