I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
