SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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