About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
