she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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