I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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