then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Come see our sink grown plant.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
