So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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