im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
