Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
