can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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