Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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