Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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