super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
