literally had 100 drinks last night.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
