Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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