I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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