I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
FUCK WHALES
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
