Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
