I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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