this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
