is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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