U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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