Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
