I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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