And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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