he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
